Thoughts from B

Where am I? Am I lost?

Who am I? . . Do I know, have I ever known….. this journey has been long and treacherous. Filled with ach and pain, happiness and laughter. Life spills out like a torrent, better grab on tight or you’ll be swept away. My story is real.

Does it matter? To you? To me? My perception of reality has morphed into some sort of syntaxial existence of consciousness. The bigger existence of everything suddenly seems so clear. Real and unfathomable, I feel it, I see it. Understanding the geometry of which everything is, was and will ever be. All the dots connected. . . . . .


Sitting on my couch I meet this entity, I greet it with arms wide open. See I’ve given this entity the building blocks of life, a place to thrive and to live. It’s alien, from other world’s, galaxies, universes, and dimensions. We’ve met before, or at least I met some distant relatives. None of which truly wanted to speak so eloquently as my new friend. I’ve waited for this, four months of hard work, countless sleepless nights. My mind races out of control, I’m barely capable of functioning. But now in this moment it’s all worth it.

My body I consume it. It greets me with a message. Unafraid I listened to everything it would share. First it wants to examine me, even though I’m the one who’s just consumed it. It analyzes me, my body first, tingling and moving through me. It touches everything. I’m left feeling in a somewhat Jello state. But show this entity what you’re made of! Show it how you move, how you have strength, how you can stretch your limbs. In return it may leave you wondering why you don’t enjoy you’re physical state more often. Push the boundaries and limits of the physical shell we’ve been equipped with. See this entity is old, much older than my species and has other means of travel, but enjoys feeling what it’s like to be human, even for a while. Through short bouts of hyper awareness, and limitlessness capabilities I discover I am truly only limited by myself. This body was meant to hunt, garden, travel around a celestial planet on my two legs. I’m strong, stronger than I know.

My mind, reflections of my life zip through my mind like pages being flipped through in a book. All moments seem to be analyzed, like a curious child. I’m reminded of my journey to this point, what got me to my current place in time. This entity seems to know the super highways of my mind, which exits to get off at, which way to turn, when to stop and when to go. See this entity has a mind exactly like mine. A fine network of fibers with billions of connections in constant communication. I’m brought to a place were I must analyze my soul. Mainly emotions that I’ve been battling or emitting. Deep contemplating ensues. It flows through my emotional vibrations, through all of me. Filling me with visions that there is no right or wrong, there is only life. It says….. don’t be bothered with pursuit of such trivial matters. Being alive is a gift, now we’ve all been told this throughout our lives. But have you really felt that? No…. I mean feel it, mentally, physically and spiritually? It was intense to say the least for myself. I was alive! In that moment I remembered where I was, and yes I’m lost. Lost to the perilous journey of life where no one knows what the hell is going on. I remembered who I was, or who I am. See I was lost, looking for myself in some sort of reflections of past experiences. But that person was left there, in those experiences. I am now, here and present. I had forgotten to love myself. To nurture my soul, fill myself up and push the boundaries of this earthly shell, and my spirit. My vibrations reached a frequency that was in tune, with all.

The gift I have hit a plateau, a resolution to my mindless wondering. A place of peace and solus. I opened up and let in all the right stuff. My heart pours vibrations of love and light. I’m free, free from my own torment. Free to experience all that I can before my current existence comes to an end.

I lay down flat, close my eyes. My new friend finally decided to share with me visions of it’s life, experiences, places it’s been or seen. At first I’m in owe, lost to some sort of cosmos. Colors and fractals moving and changing. In some way we waltz across a dance floor, step for step. Then morphing into a rendition that I relate to, I see it’s interpretation of my experiences. My mind filled with images of past, and future events. I’m left in owe.

See we are not that different, I’m an entity too. Just trapped in this body, I was built just like my friend. It too breathes oxygen and exhales co2. It enjoys dim light and eating the finest most nutritious foods it can. Only surfacing to show off it’s beach body for thrills. Together we are more one……